Friday, June 02, 2006

It's About Damn Time


Matthew McConaughey and Penelope Cruz are BASTA, FINITO, OVER. Apparently due to busy work schedules. My ass. They broke up for only two reasons
  1. They don't have a damn thing in common
  2. He doesn't like ladies

I refuse to believe that #2 is the case even though I have heard the rumor before. And we all know, she's got no problem being a beard for a gay man from time to time.

The sexiest man alive needs to make my acquaintance already! What, I got to do all the work? Time to send him some undergarments in the mail. It worked for the broad whom Luke Perry married and then divorced, didn't it? Yes, it did.

So I used to think he was cute. Fuck off. (Insert 90210 theme song here) BBBAAA BBBAAA BA BA ....DAA DAA DAAAA....

10 comments:

Elizabeth said...

this is shocking news!
US hasn't reported it yet, have they?

well these two were never going to make it--i'll second that. i could never picture them say "i love you" to each other.

anne altman said...

right? but we're all guilty of being with the wrong person for too long, i know i've done it before.

he just didn't want to play his, bongos naked baked and alone

but he doesn't have to now! i'm on the next plane to austin! provided he doesn't like boys and all! but i'll find that out when i get there! i like to shout when i'm talking about my new man!

Elizabeth said...

i doubt penelope filled the gap of a partner enjoying bongos and baking.

anne altman said...

can you imagine? i think she'd be highly annoying in that type of scene.

pun intended

Valerie said...

Me first. I already called him. So sorry. Better luck next time biyaaaaaaaatch! :P

Dreamlover said...

Please give him my number!!!


Move over biatchess.....haha

geeksters said...

He was better looking circa 2001. Now his eyes look old. Even so, he's one beautiful creature.

@alyssa ettinger said...

and he doesn't wear deodorant. it's true, i saw him on oprah.

anne altman said...

he's an anomaly amongst his own species

newbluebaby said...

They broke up bescause she doesn't speak English.