Just Say No To Pedophilia (and windows)

I was listening to This American Life this afternoon while attempting to clean my bathroom, which is no easy feat, not because it's an over-sized bathroom, but because I hate cleaning. Anyway, there was a writer on the show who writes for HBO's new series, Lucky Louie, and I can't remember her name. Probably because I was yelling at the paper towels for being on the floor, when I was high atop the tub, having already sprayed the windows and then had nothing to wipe them with.

However, I can remember the three jokes this woman told, because she was discussing how annoying it is when people say, "Oh, you're a comedy writer? Tell us a joke." Word, word. So good to hear others get as annoyed as I do with that garbage. Her favorite joke to tell in that situation is:

Q: What did the snail on the turtle's back say?
A: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!

Because then people are left like, "What? I don't get it. That's not very funny." And she can be like, "Yeah, well serves you right for opening your piehole." Or whatever she said, because again, I was yelling at something, this time probably a smudge on the window which refused to be erased or perhaps it was yelling at dirt in general.

Her other two favorites are pedophilia jokes, which never seem to go down well with a crowd of people who don't know each other very well, but I gotta say, I don't know her, and I thought they were hilarious.

Q: What did the Jewish pedophile say to his victims?

A: "Take it easy on the candy, kids!"

and

A pedophile led two children into the middle of the woods on a dark and stormy night. The kids said, "We're scared!" and the pedophile replied, "Oh yeah? Well, how do you think I feel? I gotta walk outta here alone!"