Thursday, June 08, 2006

Let's Talk Toenails

There is a chance that I will offend some people, possibly even some friends with this post, but it must be done.

Ladies? Listen up: FRENCH MANICURES DO NOT BELONG ON TOENAILS

It's sandal season, and on my walk to work today I saw several offenders, sporting their freshly pedicured french manicure style toenails. This is a bad look. For those of you who don't know what a french manicure is, lemme help you out. It's when a white horizontal stripe is painted across the very tip, simulating the natural white tip that occurs when your nails are long.



What's the problem?

Long toenails are disgusting and should never exist for any reason at all. Why? Because they are, inherently! Gook can accumulate under there, they can poke the tops of your shoes out, I mean please--why would you want to feature them as such with a french manicure? Ridiculous! What, you want to give the illusion that you click across the floor when you walk barefoot? Or is it that you're really a bear masquerading as a lady by day, and at night, you use your toenails to spear and tear off the head of salmon?


Sure, this photo is an exaggerated example, but it's the same idea.

There's nothing wrong with a plain short toenail painted clear or in a nice color. Stop making this fashion mistake. If not for me, for yourself. Thanks.


5 comments:

@alyssa ettinger said...

and there are a lot of people, especially men, who have no right showing off their feet in public in the first place.

Valerie said...

no no no no no no no! Clear polish on toes is not acceptable. There MUST be some kind of polish with a color in it. Be it pale beige or whatever, but toes should NEVER EVER be without color polish on women.

Thank you for offending me. :P Good thing my toes are BRIGHT RED today!

HI ANNE!!!!!!!! MIss you this weekend.

Elizabeth said...

i am most offended by how long those toenails are. french pedicures are unneccessary, yes, but who needs the ability to cut to the bone with a toenail? maybe i don't want the answer to that.

newbluebaby said...

eww

anne altman said...

imagine those scratchin up against your legs in bed at night?

hot hot mama