Talk Sex With Sue

Talk Sex With Sue Johanson is easily one of the best shows on television. Has the "old-broad-talking-frankly-about-sex" been done before? Sure, but for some reason, Dr. Ruth really never won me over. She was groundbreaking, yes, but perhaps it was her pinched face, or the fact that she was too petite or too hard to understand? But Sue, well. Once I got over the fact that she looks exactly like my Grama Altman, it's endless entertainment. Watching her dole out the advice with her Canadian accent, no bullshit attitude, and crazy facial expressions at all the right awkward times? Please. Hilarious. She even does the "penis in vagina" finger-in-the-hole hand expression with those liver spotted hands of hers? Then there's the callers, some of whom ask her the silliest/saddest questions, poor things. Here's the gist of a call last night:

Sue: Hi, you got a question?
Caller: Yes, um, I know there are things that make your penis longer but is there a way to make it fatter?
Sue: You don't want it longer, you want it fatter.
Caller: Yes.
Sue: Well, there is a procedure where collagen can be injected into the penis, but it's lumpy and bumpy and moves around and you end up with a lumpy bumpy penis which looks like no other. I don't recommend it. You don't want that.
Caller: Oh. Ok.
Sue: Is there a reason why you want your penis wider?
Caller: Um, because I think it needs to be fatter.
Sue: What are you comparing it to?
Caller: Um, movies and stuff I guess.
Sue: Well, listen, the average man doesn't look like what the guys have in the pornos, so you're setting yourself up for serious disappointment comparing yourself to that, eh? And just happy with what you have, eh? You don't want a lumpy bumpy penis.
Caller: Ok. Thanks.
Sue: Ok, thanks for calling. Bye, now.