Yesterday morning I was preparing to leave my apartment, and decided I'd take the elevator instead of the stairs considering I frigged up my foot on New Year's Eve. I paused a second and thought to myself, the elevator is a public place and there are several people in this building I'd like to avoid because either I hate them or they hate me so perhaps I'll wear my sunglasses? Yes, I'll wear the sunglasses. The elevator arrived, it was empty. I got on.
When the elevator doors opened in the lobby, whose face was there to greet me? None other than the fellow who said (in a stupid British accent) that I "shamed his family" because I told the entire building that his apartment had bed bugs. Big deal. Which, I might add, is not a lie, because he did have bugs and he tried to keep it a secret, but I also told them in the same breath that my apartment has bed bugs, which could be a lie, but I'm not sure because I do have some sort of strange bump on my shoulder that was not there when I went to bed last night, but I digress.
I gave him that involuntary smile you give someone you recognize even if you don't know them personally, like when you see a celebrity on the street and whatever, and you're like, "Hey!" but then I realized whom I was fake smiling at (I'm not a morning person) and then he realized through my glasses whom he was fake smiling at, and his smile faded, and I booked it out of there. It was the first time we had seen each other since he called me to scream obscenities at me in his stupid accent. I've been taking the stairs and doing laundry at odd hours, but it was bound to happen, the first encounter since the incident.
Then I saw one of his kids today, so I knew he was right around the corner, and sure enough he was-- but I had my back turned and made sure I was discussing something really "important" with my doorman. Phew. Conflict averted. I'm brilliant! Did he see me? Absolutely. But...whatevs.
Well, there you go. Nothing like stirring up some drama in the place you call home just to make it interesting for yourself once in awhile.
5 comments:
I've been doing the same thing with a neighbor who's pissed off that I wrote something neither here nor there about her 30-yo daughter. I thought the story was hilarious. The mother didn't. She called me up, threatening me to get the post off in one of those "or else" tones. I said, "I'll change the name!" (I had used the first name.) She said, "No, I want that off there. Now." So much for free speech.
So I've taken the same route as you: washing at odd hours, taking the stairs, throwing garbage out at midnight, etc.; but last week, I turned a corner on the way to the 3-level garage and crashed right into her.
It's inevitable, Anne. Elevators, garages, garbage rooms, and washrooms make it impossible to avoid those we'd like never to see again.
You'll see the British guy again. It's a given. And I'll see the overly protective mother.
Here's an idea. Why don't you stop talking shit about everyone?
Nahhhhh, oh who am I kidding. It's so much fun! Keep up the good work Anne.
I have to sneak around the hallways at my place too but because my neighbor likes me too much. That dude is freaky.
There is a woman in the controller's office where I work who is the spit and image of my dead grandmother, who was a manipulative and domineering woman. I mean, they even sound the same.
I avoid going to see her at all costs and if I need something from her, I send the intern.
INTERN, TASTE THIS SOUP!
SEND THE INTERN FOR EVERYTHING
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