Best Bowling Team Names I've Ever Heard

I’ve only heard of a few bowling team names in my life, and some have stuck with me. They are as follows:

Two Balls (2 broads and 1 dude)
Two Shits and A Rat’s Ass (3 dudes)
Come from Behind (3 broads)

Oh, bowling. There seems to be a resurgence in it's popularity lately. In the fifties it was the thing, and in the 80's it was on it's death bed. Hello, video games, smell ya later, bowling. I used to work at my college's bowling alley located in the basement of the old student union which was considered a state-of-the-art facility in the 1960's. When my Dad drove me back to school after Christmas break one year, I was greeted with the shocking sight of the entire bowling alley plonked into the dumpster behind the building. The shoes, the lockers, the balls, the hand dryers, seats, the lanes themselves. All of it tossed--buh bye! Does this mean I'm out of a job, man? My father hauled several pieces of the lanes back home with him to Massachusetts and the back bumper of the Taurus station wagon sagged an inch from the highway's concrete. "These things are solid oak!" He's had a bunch of chopping blocks made for friends since. Literal pieces of bowling history.

The majority of the country’s bowling alleys are what I call “Big Ball Bowling” which most people simply recognize as bowling. But in New England, we don’t roll that way with those wicked big balls. We’ve got what is known as Candlepin Bowling, also known as Duck Pin Bowling. Why? I have no idea. But the pins are slim and the balls are softball-sized, you get three chances per turn not two, and you have to whip it down the lane for speed. You don’t get that occasional strike from the gravity of the ball alone, it’s gotta be a power hurl every time.

All of the area’s alleys (what’s left of them) are Candlepin, with only a few lanes dedicated to Big Ball Bowling for those out-of-towners. My great grandmother was seriously hooked on Bowling for Dollars’ local edition called “Candlepins for Cash,” hosted by Red Sox’s own Rico Petrocelli. So it’s pretty much a "Duh" why loved that show.

I suck at bowling. You may remember my 8th birthday party, which was held at the alley behind the McDonald’s in Salem. The party favors were from the "five and dime," also in Salem. Neither the bowling alley nor the five and dime store remains standing. I am also on my last breath. Good. Bye. Anyone who can name the former alley and former store gets a Hoodsie.