Yes, National Fat Ass Day, where we focus a little attention on the fat ass, either by celebrating it, rebuking it, pointing it out, sitting on it. Awareness.
I had a very early physical therapy appointment this morning. I was going to go straight to work from there, but unfortunately the dress pants I had packed and changed into were too tight and contained not a single thread of forgiving stretch fabric. Thus, I had to go home and find something else to wear.
When I saw my super in the hallway, he had a confused look on his face. "Oh," I said, "I'm back because I realized at the gym that my pants were too tight so I had to come home and change."
"Oh, really?" he replied. "Yeah, you've gained weight. Not a lot, but you have gained weight, right?"
AWESOME.
So with that little ditty, let us celebrate National Fat Ass Day, shall we? Enjoy.
16 comments:
Stop it.
you are the man who fill fight for my fat ass's honor
Is your super related to the girl that told me that I look old?
Anne is a tiny petite girl that doesn't need to listen to old men who need glasses.
She's but a mere wisp of a thing. I speak from experience - I finally got to meet her last night!
well i went to the doctor the other day who asked if i wanted to get myself weighed. i said, uh no. she said, come on, it will be fun!
fun? getting weighed? getting weighed right after the holidays? it was awesome. oh, and i was wearing jeans that day that i realized didn't fit like they did last month.
I had someone ask me if I had gained weight a few days ago. I let them know that my weight had not changed in some time but that I had gotten a couple of inches shorter. They accepted that explanation, which shows that my acquaintances are not Mensa-eligible.
Isn't that grounds for a knee to the crotch?
BTW, what's wrong with a sex broad like you wearing tight pants?
fellas, tighter does not equal better. 10 lbs of sausage spilling out of a 5 lb bag is hideous. and uncomfortable.
love,
sex broad
here's clarification:
My pants were not tight like, "Ooohhhh!"
They were tight like "Eeeewww!"
Look, I think the lesson here, that we all can learn from, is that you should just keep your pants off.
Yeah, I guess I'm just used to seeing you with your pants off.
Q: Why'd Michael Jackson go to the TJ Maxx Sale?
A: He heard all Boys Pants were Half Off.
Did you giggle to yourself when you wrote that Michael Jackson joke?
oh man i only wish i wrote it. in my dreams.
So he wanted to save some money - what's so funny about that? Der.
Post a Comment