Ever Try to Make a Bed with Two Fitted Sheets?

Here's my conversation with the laundromat earlier:

Hi, it's Anne calling. Remember, I called you yesterday about my missing laundry?

Yea, uh, we no have it.

Hmm. Yes, do you know who does? You said you were going to call the factory?

Yes, I call and they no have it. We give to you.

No, I don't have it. Half is missing. I sent you two bathmats and received no bathmats. I got out of the shower today to no bathmat. My fitted sheets are missing. How much did you charge me?

22 pounds....$22 dollars. You give us 22 pounds, we give you 22 pounds back.

Look, I don't care what the scale says--my bathmats and my flat sheets are missing. And probably half a dozen towels, I really don't know...You can't find them? How do I get my money back?

We no have we give you.

*sigh* Ok. Can you call the factory again and ask them? Because I can assure you that a few days ago I had two dirty bathmats and two fitted sheets and now I have neither. So, I gave you $22 and now I'm out $200? See?

Ok.

Do you want to call me or should I call you?

You call.

*sigh* Ok.

Bye Bye.

*sigh* Bye.

Directions on How to Make a Bed with Two Fitted Sheets:

You put one fitted sheet on the mattress. Lie the second sheet on top and snuggle up as the elastic bands curl and chafe around your face and bunch up around your legs and arms. Mmmm. Sleepy tighty! Nighty nitey!

...to be continued...