Tuesday, February 06, 2007

So Much Frightening Crap to Marvel At

The only Season Six American Idol episode I have seen so far was when they were auditioning contestants in Seattle. There was a broad (who brought her mother into the audition room with her)whom I believe was by far the scariest contestant aired on the show for a number of reasons (most of them obvious):

  1. Her #$@!%^* singing voice
  2. Her Dutch Boy hairdo
  3. Her makeup
  4. Her twin mother
  5. But most importantly: HER MAMMOTH FLOPPING FLAPJACKS which were only emphasized under that satin blouse.

They were frightening yet mesmerizing. I could not keep myself from chanting:

WEAR A BRA

WEAR A BRA

WEAR A BRA

WEAR A BRA

WEAR A BRA

What made her think she could go bra-less? A simple boulder holder (which would have done wonders for her posture and general appearance), and she would have escaped comment by me entirely. For reals. Believe it.



3 comments:

dancing at gunpoint said...

Her lipstick is also a little too 'Whatever Happened to Baby Jane', you know?

anne altman said...

and her jugsare a little too "Whatever Happened to Baby's Bra"

Scarlet said...

Next time please give greater warning... I have drink spat across the keyboard and screen now.