Take a good long look at room pictured above. Oh, the stories it could tell, right? Here's one. Last week, a colleague of mine (I'll call him Man Tub) returned from a college friend's wedding which took place basically in the center of the center of the country, yet in the middle of nowhere: Belleville, Kansas. Former frat dudes being frat dudes, he and his buddies neglected to call ahead for hotel reservations, figuring, "Hell, this is central, rural Kansas. How hard could it be to get a room?"
Not that hard, it turns out, if you don't mind sharing the Super 8's $79 honeymoon suite, "the only room left at the inn" so to speak, with three dudes and of the dude's dates. Oh, and one passed out dude who wasn't supposed to crash there but inevitably did, like he always does. You know that guy. Mooch.
Anyway, Man Tub, his original gang, and about 10 more folks came back to the honeymoon suite after the wedding reception to continue the party where the drinking of copious alcoholic beverages was resumed. A dude I'll call C.K.G (Central Kansas Greenberg) had the idea to turn on the romance by filling up the heart-shaped Jacuzzi tub (pictured) and sooner than you can say fungus, Man Tub, and two of his dude buddies stripped down into their boxers to drink beer in style. But alas, the water was too hot! So they turned on the cold water at full blast too, to get things evened out.
And wouldn't you know it, that turned out to be a mistake. Apparently a waterfall was accumulating in the lobby fo the ol' Super 8, and once Man Tub and his buddies got word, they all ran downstairs to get a look see at the live entertainment they created, as you would, when you're hammered, drinking beer in a honeymoon hot tub in your boxers. According to Man Tub, the manager, who was not pleased, was mopping up the mess in the lobby when CKG decided to go all Greenberg on his ass with an offensive move about the incident. "There's no way it was us! We were just sittin' there, having' a couple beers, taking a couple pictures! It's not like we were splashing all around! It must be your pipes! Look, we'll stay here tonight, but you better have this fixed before anyone else stays in that room!" The manager, too resigned, exhausted and taken aback to argue with this "logic," didn't, and kept on mopping.
The moral of this story, kids? There's a little Greenberg in all of us.
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