Baked, Smoked, or Deep Fried?

Happy Thanksgiving, folks! Aren't you glad it's over? I hope you all had a wonderful holiday. And if not wonderful, then at least tolerable. Tolerable can be wonderful depending on the circumstances!

I spent 6 days in Western New York State for a good old fashioned Altman Family Reunion. Serious. Sorry if you weren't invited. Other than the Altman Family itself, an official AFR contains another significant ingredient: Meat. Meat downed with copious amounts of beer. Hence the event's ubiquitous slogan, "Meat Me in Olean." Yes, Olean, New York is farm country, hunting country, meat country, folks, so vegetarians beware: it's going to get ugly. Celery sticks and twice-stuffed baked potatoes will be the only food available without a face for you to chew on during your stay. Can you handle it? I'm not sure that you can. I have a tough time with the reality of the whole thing myself. Steak, pork sausage, Beef on Wick (sliced beef with au jus on caraway seed and coarsely salted Kimmelwick rolls), classic Buffalo-style chicken wings, and Friday Fish Fry are this region's specialties. Soggy, soupy wings with a lame, thin, watery excuse for bleu cheese? Um, no. They don't serve bullshit like that in Wing Town. You'll choke on the clumps of bleu cheese and you won't think you've died and gone to heaven, you'll know you have. You might even indulge yourself in a hot or sweet sausage sandwich with peppers and onions, a Texas Hot (hot dog with special onion sauce) or an Elephant Ear Sandwich prepared "All the Way" (thick-cut bologna with peppers, onions, and cheese on a roll). In other words: If you don't restrain yourself during your visit, prepare to return home a fat tub of shit. It the stuff of a Weight Watchers' Nightmare.

For reals.

But, whatevs. Meat Me in Olean 2006 was a 3-pronged attack of Food, Folks, and Fun. Food: as described. Fun: a lot of singing and drinking. And folks? My dad is one of ten and I've got a huge friggin' family. 30 cousins have all married off and spawned, so it's obviously serious mania. Not Mormon mania, but close. We had Thankgiving dinner for 80 at my family's restaurant the Ho-Sta-Geh and dined on at least 3 (maybe more) poor turkeys 3 ways: baked, smoked, and deep-fried. We had 8.5 pies, and 3 cakes. And this stuff called "White Trash" which is basically Chex Mix type deal with mini marshmallows which is then dredged in white chocolate to kill you. We celebrated not only Thanksgiving and reuniting after several years but also three birthdays and one in the form of a surprise party. We surprised a 76-year old man for cryin' out loud. And he survived. Risky. Also, I think there were at least 59 kids under ten at this thing. And I survived. Risky.

And so did Doodle survive-- without me. Thanks to Bumpkyn looking in on her to feed her and flush her turds. I brought Doodle Buggy (who to her chagrin, has demonstrated behavior indicative of missing me) back a gift of the form of the scent of 3 dogs, one cat, and two hamsters on my shoes. She seems pretty pleased with it. I knew she would be.