Thursday, November 16, 2006

If You Like Somone, Give Them Onion Bread

You all remember Amy, the broad in my office whom is fond of me? There's plenty of awkward conversation to be had because I sit right next to the pantry. Yesterday she told me that I have "quite beautiful face" and take it "as compliment because I don't give compliment to people," and so I did. In the afternoon she asked me what I was eating, and I told her it was 3-day old salad. She said, "I always eat old food. Otherwise I just throw it away. But who can afford to just throw away? In China, lots of people don't have access to water or streams, so they put lots of spice, because food goes bad. That's why lots of spice."

Hmmm.

Then she offered me some old salad she had. She told me she often throws old salad in soup so as not to waste it. Salad soup. I politely declined. She mentioned that she had some garlic bread and some other stuff if I'd like it. "Anytime, just come see me."

Today I am wearing a light sweater with a big sparkly brooch. I feel like it is Christmas Day because they just delivered the Poland Spring water bottles and my neighbor placed a fan between our desks. Yesterday, I wore a black summer dress to cope with the heat in here and hoped that nobody noticed it was cotton on my walk home. Anyway, I have unshaven legs with visible stubble, and a wrinkled cotton khaki skirt. My boss has toothpaste down the front of her shirt.

Amy commented on the fact that we have water today. As she did so, she said, "You have nice wardrobe." Then she threw an enormous loaf of onion bread on my desk. It landed with a huge thud and scared the crap out of me. "Keep here, so they don't eat. For you."

If you can imagine the wafting of 7,000 bits of black roasted onions on a loaf of bread (that feeds12) sitting on my desk right under my nose at 11:30 a.m.--what I still consider early morning--well, the smell of generosity varies, doesn't it? It sure does.

10 comments:

Teri said...

would you consider dating women? she sounds like she likes you.

hope you have some gum or mouthwash for after the consumption of the garlic bread!

anne altman said...

no. and of course she likes me. she gave me onion bread!!!

i'm afraid the consumption will have to be fake / polite consumption as in "take a few pieces and throw in garbage" as i don't like the Sell By date on this thing.

Elizabeth said...

soup salad. salad soup. it sounds gross but with a little onion bread on the side. tasty!

newbluebaby said...

She reads your blog. You posted about onions not too long ago.

matt said...

You should go all Rachael Ray and use it to make some grilled cheese sammies.

Sharon Shiner said...

oh mee so hohhnny

Creepy said...

She definitely wants to shag you. (Or whatever what a woman would do to another woman is slangily called.) From your post it seems like she is foreign; what country is she from?

And do we not shave our legs during winter? (I'm from Florida, we don't have winter.)

Berry said...

Wow. Onion bread, eh? In some cultures, you two would be going steady now.

Blondie said...

I suggest using the onion bread as a handwarmer if it ever gets too cold in there. Or as a paperweight. Or as a door stopper. Or you could just throw it at someone.

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