Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Giada, Giada, Giada

Dear Men In My Life Who Are Obsessed With Giada De Laurentis:

Shut up already with all the drooling and the oogling and the “Giada Giada Giada” and the face an inch from the television when her shows are on the Food Network, all under the guise of learning new recipes. Ok? I mean, please. You don't even cook. Standing in front of the refrigerator in your boxers stuffing a rolled up piece of turkey and slice of cheese in your mouth does not justify you spending hours a week watching a show about preparing meals.

Is she hot? Yes.

Does she have huge distracting cans? Yes.

Does she make gross sexy annoying mouth noises when she’s perkily chopping/tasting/slow roasting/shopping for food? Yes.

Since you can’t get enough of her, Doodle wants to enlighten you with a detail you may have overlooked: If Giada spends that much time preparing, eating and enjoying all those meals, (while making all of those annoying mouth noises) then Giada spends a lot of time in the john taking huge dumps.
So, why don’t you chew on that for awhile, huh, fellas? Great. Thanks. Bye.

13 comments:

whipcreamy said...

brilliant.

Chris Battle said...

While she is cute, I've always found that maniacal grin of hers terrifying.

Jen said...

I hate the way she says
"Spee Ge Tee"

makes me cringe

Also...
Her head is WAY TO BIG
for her body

anne altman said...

and she takes huge dumps.

did i mention that?

Teri said...

or she's bulimic

I've often wondered about this because she eats ALOT, she's Italian for God's sake and she a bean pole.


something's up..........

anne altman said...

her toilet lid, that's what

badum dum

ok, i promise i'll stop now.

Fargrave said...

They call her "Little Big-Head" on the set.

Creepy said...

But she's so hot I bet her dumps don't smell all that bad.

Carolyn said...

Her dumps, her dumps, her lovely lady dumps...

I think her cooking is like restless leg syndrome. Maybe she'll get it when she's pregnant.

Del-V said...

She's awesome! Everyday Italian is the second best show on the Food Network after Good Eats.

Hater!

newbluebaby said...

Never heard of her.

Everybody poops.

anne altman said...

newblue you are a rare species. the only male on earth who hasn't. now you do.

EJ said...

She doesn't take dumps, gnocchi pops out of her ears.

Big Smelly Gnocchi Dumps, I suppose.