Nice Buns

When I was in second grade, we had to play the violin for a few weeks. Everyone in the class got a loaner violin, and if you took to it/liked it, then you could continue on.

I didn't take to it. Hence my phrase "had to play the violin." I'm sure there were some kids stoked about the idea, but it wasn't my bag. Anyway, we had a concert. The song was "Hot Cross Buns." I don't think we played it around Good Friday, I just think it's an easy song to play.

If you practice, that is. I didn't practice. I didn't like the string instrument. I found it annoying. So, soon enough time came for recital day, and Annie didn't friggin' practice her Hot Cross Buns. But I wasn't going to let on. No, siree. I didn't have a plan yet, but I'd figure one out. The show was held in the cafetorium. My parents were there. My Dad had a fancy new tape recorder that took mini tapes. Miss Uyema the music teacher began the show, and I panicked. What was my plan?

The plan became, "air violin." I was going to take some stabs at the notes, but then I figured I'd really stand out. Plus, my Dad was there taping the thing for chrissakes! So, I hovered that bow right about the strings and air-violined away. Nobody was the wiser, except for me of course. I finally garnered the courage to tell my Dad a few years ago. You know, that I faked my performance in the 2nd grade violin concert. He didn't know what the fuck I was talking about.