A Night in Chelsea on Gay Pride Weekend

Friday Night in NYC's Chelsea

6/27/08

Victor was wasted when he pointed at me from across the room, came up to us and announced, "You are so beautiful, I must buy you a drink!" As he made his way over, he made sure to reassure my friend's boyfriend that he was gay. As if he needed to tell any of us that, especially my girlfriend's boyfriend. For the purposes of this little story, I must tell you that Victor is white, and my friend and her boyfriend are black. Within minutes of sloppily opening and closing his tab 3 times to buy himself and the rest of us a drink (I did the math on his credit card receipt for him since he had trouble, "What's fifteen plus 3?"), Victor blurted out--to my friends--"I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW, THAT I HATE RACISTS!" Oh, geez, I think to myself. Here we go. "I DO! I HATE RACISTS! I I WENT TO AN ALL BLACK HIGH SCHOOL!" and then he proceeded to cue up for a high five from the boyfriend. Surprisingly, he got one.

Let's all play the I Hate Racists Game. It's fun! And a great way to ingratiate yourself to strangers! Repeat after me:

To a gay person, say: I HATE HOMOPHOBES! I WENT TO AN ALL GAY HIGH SCHOOL!

To a woman, say: I HATE GYNOPHOBES! I WENT TO AN ALL GIRL HIGH SCHOOL!

To a bird, say: I HATE ORINTHOPHOBES! I WENT TO AN ALL BIRD HIGH SCHOOL!

To cheese, say: I HATE TUROPHOBES! I WENT TO AN ALL CHEESE HIGH SCHOOL!

You get the idea.