Sunday, June 15, 2008

Simple $22 Cure All for the Ladies in the House

Ladies,

  • Boyfriend dump you?
  • Husband disinterested in sex?
  • Hate your job?
  • Need a vacation?
  • Husband wants sex?
  • Just win the lottery?
  • Eyebrows need waxing?
  • Can't find a babysitter?
  • High school reunion coming up?
  • Housework too much?
  • Excessive perspiration?
  • Crows feet?
  • Unemployed?
  • Too fat?
  • Hate your car?
  • Hate your neighbor?
  • Hate your neighbor's car?
  • Boyfriend a deadbeat?
  • Can't afford a housekeeper?
  • Husband wants a divorce?
  • Thinning hair?
  • Kids on your nerves?
  • Got a work crush?
  • Hate war?
  • Tired?
  • Dog die?
  • Worried about global warming?
  • Driveway needs blacktop?
  • Low on prescription meds?
  • Glass ceiling killing your career?
  • Recently evicted?
  • Torn earlobe?
  • Bite your nails?
  • No kids?
  • Bills piling up?
  • Witchy mother-in-law?
  • Flat feet?
  • Worried you'll die alone?
  • Worried you'll live forever with people?

Answer yes to any of these questions? Not to fear. I have the cure! Brought to you by the the folks who do everything better than we do*--the Japanese--it is with pleasure that I introduce to you

FIBERWIG

Paint-on False Lashes!

It's Beyond Mascara!

DRAMATIC LENGTH SEPARATES & DEFINES

Holy crap. This stuff changed my life. Got myself a tube last week at Sephora and it's been Easy Street ever since. In fact, it's almost always sold out (even at Sephora.com) so I'm not exactly sure why I'm promoting my cure-all elixir to the rest of you sad sack chicks, but there you go. Fiberwig. Get some and get a life. You can thank me later. (bats eyelashes, one, two, three times)

*Save for body hair. We do that better, unfortunately.

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