What the Fuck in a Cake Made of Strawberries?

Strawberry Shortcake. What a jerk. Nice hat. How did any kid watch this shit? Chipper morning berries like Strawberry need a swift kick in the shortcake and some yankin' by the strawberry shorthairs. If ol' Miss Shortcake and I were new roommates, we wouldn't last long, I tell ya. I'd be drawing horse dicks on her shower curtain with the hobby horses on it and pissing in her Proactiv bottles faster than you can say, "Wake, up, Custard! We've gotta go see Blueberry Muffin!" Run away, Custard. She's a crazy bitch with no friends. Break the lease. Get your own place.