Weird Wedding Photos Part MCLVVVCV

"Hee hee hee hee terrible posture and weird facial expressions run in the family hee hee hee, hee, hee waaaaa waaaa waa."

Happy Halloween!

I actually had this very costume when I was a kid. Believe it. Flame retarded.

Interim Post

I realize you're all waiting desperately for my post on the Bills v. Jets at the Meadowlands--my first ever professional football game--but it's taking some time to put together, so hang on to your bing bangs.





In the meantime, please enjoy this link on eBay to a bunch of fake loaves of bread you might be interested in.



Opening bid for all these fake loaves of bread? $9.99. Only nine ninety nine? Seriously? For all that fake bread? That's remarkable, wouldn't you say? You'd think a lot of fake loaves of bread like this would go for twice that, easily. And they look good enough to eat, no? Real beauties. Bid away, folks, you don't want to let this fake bread loaf opportunity get away, and if you're no stranger to eBay, you know how quickly these things can slip through your fingers.

Those loaves really look terrific, it bears repeating. I mean, it's like you're really in a boulangerie. One wonders if they used stunt real loaves of bread for this photo shoot? I don't know how they're gonna prove it to you, but before you bid, you should verify their inauthenticity.

Weird Engagement Photos Part III

Meet Sox

"This photo released by Zoo New England on Monday, Oct. 29, 2007, shows a baby female giraffe born Thursday, Oct. 24, 2007, at Boston's Franklin Park Zoo, and named 'Sox' on Monday, the morning after the Boston Red Sox won the 2007 World Series. At birth, 'Sox' weighed 154 pounds, and stood 6-feet 2-inches tall. Her parents Beau and Jana are Masai giraffes brought together in 2004 to breed." (AP Photo/Zoo New England)

The Boston Red Sox: 2007 World Series Champions

Yay! That's right! I know the "big news" is A-Rod opting out of his Yankee contract and all, but...there's no douching in baseball.

CONGRATULATIONS, BOSOX!

Buffalo Bills v. New York Jets Today at 4 p.m.

And I'm going! My first professional football experience. I expect to be hammered, topless, and acting like a first-rate jackass. See you there!

EUROBAD '74

~ ~ Welcome to EUROBAD '74, an exhibition of Europe's worst interiors of 1974 ~ ~

Kick Ass Blog of the Week: Mustaches of the Nineteenth Century

Mustaches of the Nineteenth Century. Fantastic!

What I'm Reading Right Now

1. Into the Wild, by Jon Krakauer

Boiled Peanuts are What?

I didn't know such a thing as boiled peanuts existed until I was introduced to the concept from a friend who hails from Georgia. Peanuts? Boiled? Really? Truth is, yes, they exist, they're tasty (albeit strange) and you can get them either fresh (preferable) or in a can. In a can? What? It's so weird! And now science says they're good for you that way, as the boiling locks in all the nutrients and whatnot. Who'd a thunk it?

If you're from the South, this probably isn't news. Southerners can find fresh or canned boiled peanuts just about anywhere, but up North storekeepers will think you're nuts asking for them, so if you're really jonesing to give boiled peanuts a try, (which you should be, because to be curious is to be alive, go to http://www.nutsonline.com/ or if you're fancy, Paula Dean endorses the Peanut Shop of Williamsburg, and they sell 'em online in a can.

Scratch N Sniff Wallpaper

By Flavor Paper. This one is B-A-N-A-N-A-S and smells as such. Flavor Paper also has non-sniff designs which are equally beautiful and funky. If I had some cash I'd be doin' my place up all nice nice in Flavor Paper. Check it.


"Flavor Paper produces unique vintage, contemporary and custom handscreened wallcoverings that will add a burst of flavor to any environment. Located in the Bywater District of New Orleans, our Flavor Lab uses only the highest quality water-based inks and grounds to create premium wallcoverings for retail, home and beyond.
Flavor Paper’s distinctive designs and vibrant colors have caught the eye, and palette, of a number of taste aficionados. Rock stars, retailers, nightclubs, restaurants, and savvy homeowners have all added a little spice to their walls with Flavor Paper.
Whether you are a long time flavor follower or are just getting your first taste, we are sure that once you start sampling you won’t be able to stop. But don’t worry this is one addiction that’s good for you."

Worst First Names in Major League Baseball

1. Asdrubal
2. Yorvit
3. Chipper
4. Troy

Chris Berman Really Needs to Get a Better Grip

That hairdo is the worst. The worst.

There's Only One October Doodle

I don't know why the graphic for the 2007 Doodle Cat Calendar came up here as 2008, so just think of it as a delicious reminder that soon, the '08 calendars will be up for sale, and you will invest in one if you know what's good for you. If you don't have one of these things up in your cube, your whole boring office will be brought to tears and suffer from painful bouts of scurvy as the '07 was their only source of entertainment and Vitamin C. And, there's the painful fact that I'll punch you in the beanbag if you don't buy one, so let that be a little incentive.

Buy Limited Edition 2007 Doodle Cat Calendars here!

Erin-ism of the Day Part 1

Erin-ism: (noun) A phrase or word which my sister fucks up unwittingly and hilariously to friends', family's, and last but not least, her delight.

"Mom let the beans out of the bag."

Other famous Erin-isms of days gone by:

1. "And that was just the needle that broke the camel's back."
2. "I was driving on a scary road with a pinhead turn."
3. "It was pitch white."
4. "Are they gonna put her down?" (When inquiring whether someone was going to have general anesthesia for a certain surgery they needed.)

Shades of Greenberg

Super 8's Honeymoon Suite,

Belleville, Kansas

Take a good long look at room pictured above. Oh, the stories it could tell, right? Here's one. Last week, a colleague of mine (I'll call him Man Tub) returned from a college friend's wedding which took place basically in the center of the center of the country, yet in the middle of nowhere: Belleville, Kansas. Former frat dudes being frat dudes, he and his buddies neglected to call ahead for hotel reservations, figuring, "Hell, this is central, rural Kansas. How hard could it be to get a room?"

Not that hard, it turns out, if you don't mind sharing the Super 8's $79 honeymoon suite, "the only room left at the inn" so to speak, with three dudes and of the dude's dates. Oh, and one passed out dude who wasn't supposed to crash there but inevitably did, like he always does. You know that guy. Mooch.

Anyway, Man Tub, his original gang, and about 10 more folks came back to the honeymoon suite after the wedding reception to continue the party where the drinking of copious alcoholic beverages was resumed. A dude I'll call C.K.G (Central Kansas Greenberg) had the idea to turn on the romance by filling up the heart-shaped Jacuzzi tub (pictured) and sooner than you can say fungus, Man Tub, and two of his dude buddies stripped down into their boxers to drink beer in style. But alas, the water was too hot! So they turned on the cold water at full blast too, to get things evened out.

And wouldn't you know it, that turned out to be a mistake. Apparently a waterfall was accumulating in the lobby fo the ol' Super 8, and once Man Tub and his buddies got word, they all ran downstairs to get a look see at the live entertainment they created, as you would, when you're hammered, drinking beer in a honeymoon hot tub in your boxers. According to Man Tub, the manager, who was not pleased, was mopping up the mess in the lobby when CKG decided to go all Greenberg on his ass with an offensive move about the incident. "There's no way it was us! We were just sittin' there, having' a couple beers, taking a couple pictures! It's not like we were splashing all around! It must be your pipes! Look, we'll stay here tonight, but you better have this fixed before anyone else stays in that room!" The manager, too resigned, exhausted and taken aback to argue with this "logic," didn't, and kept on mopping.

The moral of this story, kids? There's a little Greenberg in all of us.

Obscene Interiors by Justin Jorgensen

I met the great Justin Jorgensen when he graced the stages of Mortified's last show at the now-defunct Mo Pitkin's a few weeks ago. Check out snippets from his clever little book, Obscene Interiors, here. Justin signed my copy, and in my opinion, it makes a great holiday gift for anyone who is fond of men's online personal ads, interior design, or snarky humor.

Aaron Kheifets, Oren Brimer, and Justin Jorgensen

@ Mortified, Mo Pitkins, September 26, 2007

Sox vs. Rockies Game 1 @ Fenway Tonight

Gorgeous!

Earrings made of real moose poop.

You Can Have This House for $26

Only catch is: You have to move it.

True Story

I work with two people who won't eat cheese. Not because they're lactose intolerant and blow their asses out as a result, but because they simply hate cheese.

Apparently these guys will make exceptions for mozzarella which is mixed into some pasta dishes and on top of pizza. Also, I will eat smoked or raw salmon but not cooked, and my sister will eat grilled onions or Funyuns but not raw onions, so please write all of this down for future reference. Thank you.

Every Rose Has its Thorn, Yo

Bret Michaels Then (a Pisces)


Bret Michaels Now (still a Pisces)

Have you heard of his popular band, Poison? They had a mega hit called Every Rose Has its Thorn, which, according to Bret, is about a stripper who broke his heart. And here I thought it was simply about a thorny rose. Bret, your depth makes me cry. And so does your fake tanner. But your reality show on VH1, Rock of Love, had me in stitches. You really only had to see the last 3 episodes to get the goodness--the finale was brilliant.

~

~

We both lie silently still
In the dead of the night
Although we both lie close together
We feel miles apart inside
Was it something I said or something I did
Did my words not come out right
Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I triedBut I guess thats why they say
Chorus:Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn
Yeah it does
I listen to our favorite song
Playing on the radio
Hear the dj say loves a game of easy come and
Easy goBut I wonder does he know
Has he ever felt like this
And I know that youd be here right now
If I could have let you know somehowI guess
Chorus
Though its been a while now
I can still feel so much pain
Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals
But the scar, that scar remains
SoloI know I could have saved a love that night
If Id known what to say
Instead of makin love
We both made our separate ways
But now I hear you found somebody new
And that I never meant that much to you
To hear that tears me up inside
And to see you cuts me like a knife
I guess every rose has its...

Now That's a Flask

A Prairie Home Restraining Order

Even nerds with crazy eyebrows get stalkers.

"I am unclear as to what the problem is," she said.

You Ain't Made It Until You've Brawled in a Waffle House

It's stories like these that make me understand Pam Anderson's desire to marry this gentleman.

Why they divorced, I'll never know.

Cocarettes

Have you been tirelessly searching for a way to combine your love of cigarettes with your love of cocaine? Lo and behold, your fruitless search is over! Only, you're about a hundred years too late.

Introducing, from the Past,

COCARETTES!

An idea too good to last.

Devil Dog

My cousin just emailed me this video of a trail he biked for the first time this weekend. Is he crazy? Yes. Crazy good. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Note to other devil dogs: He "lost some skin" doing this. Beware.

Cruising For Hotties? Avoid Philly...

That's right, read all about it here. . .

My Soulmate: John Clifford

Dear John Clifford,

I love you. Keep up the good work.

Love,

Anne

--------------------------------------------------------

BY REID J. EPSTEIN
reid.epstein@newsday.com

October 14 2007, 10:35 PM EDT

John Clifford has, by his own account, punched one woman in the head and poured his coffee on another. He's interrupted cell-phone conversations and yelled at others who managed to make his morning commute from Long Beach to Penn Station miserable.

The complete article can be viewed at:

http://www.newsday.com/news/local/longisland/ny-liclif1015,0,2767622.story?coll=ny-sports-headlines

Add 40 Years, Replace the Cards with the Rockies

And the Red Sox are again off to the World Series Races!

GO SOX!

Wake Up

I'd give the animator credit if I knew the artist's name...'tis a shame, because I'm in love with this! Thank you, A-Ron.

Who's Dated Whom?

By Roger Cabello, WireImage.com via OK! Magazine

Here's a website that will sufficiently waste your time. It is called Who's Dated Who but should be called Who's Dated Whom or more appropriately, Who's Done Whom (especially when you peruse Pam Anderson or Alyssa Milano or Tom Brady).



PS Tom Brady and Bridget Moynahan's little boy is edible. Tom and Bridget are pretty tasty too, I'd imagine.

Wow, Greenberg is Blowin' Up!

Remember Greenberg, from calamari and celebrity sightings galore? Well, apparently the Drew Barrymore Collective (fansite) is irate! And they're fighting amongst themselves about the validity of Greenberg's (unflattering) story featuring their muse. I don't know what the big deal is about a broad, celeb or not, allegedly doing a line of coke in a men's bathroom, who cares? Sniff it if you've got it, I say. I'm not one to judge. But isn't this information superhighway stuff fascinating? People are hating on Greenberg! Anyway, if there's one thing I know about Greenberg, the kid doesn't fabricate. He steals calamari destined for other diners and eats it in the bathroom sink, but he owns up to it. Eventually.

Virtually Carve Virtually Your Own Virtual Pumpkin

My clever (and drunk) jack-o-lantern didn't show up when I tried to copy and paste it, but click here to access the site and make your own.

Lash's Bitters

President Bush Gets Terrible Grades Again Always All the Time

24% is an F, people.

I'd know. Check out any of my report cards and direct yourself to Math and Chemistry. It's a Freakin' Friggin' Fuckin' Field Day.

4 Out of 5 Klingele Sisters are Sisters

Because the one in the middle didn't buy the whole God bit. Amen. Or, she just wanted to flaunt her boo boos around. Hallelujah! And it's worth mentioning that she's rockin' 'em super low in this photo, kids. Thank God for better undergarments these days. Can I get a Hallelujah and an Amen, sisters? And brothers? You know what I'm talkin' about.

*photo submitted to shorpy.com by kevhum*

You're Right: You Are Broke

This is some sad shit. Sad and true. Hell is burning the shit out of our handbaskets.

Tarzan Boy: Just One of the Reasons Why My Boss is Wicked Awesome

On Tuesday afternoon as my boss was leaving, he asked every single person in the office the following:

"Hey, do you know that song that goes, 'Whoa whoa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaaa....
...Whoa whoa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaaa...' you know that one?"

Um, yeah?

"Who sings it?"

Um, I don't know.

"Ugh. Ok."

To the next person:

"Hey, do you know that song that goes, 'Whoa whoa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaaa....
...Whoa whoa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaaa...' you know that one?"

Um, yeah?

"Who sings it?"

Um, I don't know.

"Ugh. Ok."

To the next person:

"Hey, do you know that song that goes, 'Whoa whoa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaaa.......Whoa whoa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaa whoaaa...' you know that one?"

Um, yeah?

"Who sings it?"

I don't know.

"Ugh. Ok."

Lather, rinse, repeat. . .

Anne's Question of the Day: Why is It Shiny?

Why is it shiny?

Take your time with this one, kids; it's long answer/essay. Do your best. Tommy, turn around, eyes to yourself and off of Ashley's paper. You're shooting for a D- this semester with good behavior. Seriously, why do you make me want to beat you in the dome piece? Turn around!

Halloween Nonsense Plus Tits

This Halloween, instead of sitting home in the dark, sipping booze and ignoring trick-or-treaters, I'll be performing some stupid shit at:

Honi and Bella's Trick AND Treat!
A Spooky Night of Thrills, Chills and Sweets!
Wednesday, October 31 at 11PM
Cafe Del Mar
89 MacDougal @ Bleecker

Tickets: $10 (with costume)

Of course, Honi and Bella get to decide what constitutes a costume: No costume: $15

Cafe Del Mar: Great food and cheap drinks

Doors open at 10:30

FEATURING:

Burlesque from Pookie Patootie, Creamy Stevens, and special guest- Selina Vixen

and

Stand-Up from Anne Altman, Liz Simons and Louisa Franks!

www.myspace.com/broadville

I'm Anne With an E

Thanks for asking.

Winky

I'm Not the Only One Bummed About the Salad

Apparently others are just as disappointed with McDonald's and their decision to remove the Southwest Chicken Salad from their menu--check out dietdetective.com and read all the sad comments.

Way to go, Ronald McDonald. You keep the fat kids laughing and the waist-conscious adults crying. Well, the fat kids aren't the ones with the dough. And pretty soon those fat kids are going to grow up to be fat adults and then they're going to start crying and then everyone will be crying because the Earth will fall down and go boom from being too obese and IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT YOU CREEPY CLOWN!

Mmmmm, Salmonella-ey

Get some.

Never Trust a Christian. I Mean, a Clown. I Mean, a Christian Clown.

Especially a Christian Clown named Klutzo.

I'm quite sure that Klutzo was the only one having fun at the House of Joy Orphanage in the Phillipines.

Newsflash

Wiping shitty elderly/newborn asses and waitressing will make you slightly more or slightly less depressed than not having a job.

Weird Wedding Photos Part MCCVVCXVXLV

Just because you're marrying past your prime (or for the third or fourth time) doesn't exempt you from proper undergarments. Good grief. Hike that shit up-- and in --before I vomit in the chocolate fountain.

Weird Wedding Photos Part MCVMMCVXLV

Unveil the elephant, and cover the bride and groom, I say.

Bea and O'Malley

Spring 2007

Dear Yankees

We Red Sox fans can't stand you, and your fans, well, don't even get me started. They're simply intolerable. That said, you will be sorely misssed tonight at Fenway. The Indians are just too nice to hate. I mean, they're from Cleveland for cryin' out loud. But I love to hate you, and I know the feeling is mutual. So, in closing, I'm sorry that you sucked too bad to be playing baseball with us in the post-season, because man, it's really fun. But whaddayagonnado?

Go Sox,

Anne

My Sister Thinks It's Real

IvyLeaguer123*

No stranger to the thrills and chills of online dating, this story forwarded to me yesterday has to be one of the best I've ever read. Married people? You're really missing out on the fun here. Please enjoy, IvyLeaguer123*.

*not his real screen name (it's worse)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


From: XXXX
Sent: Thursday, October 04, 2007 11:01 AM
To: XXXX
Subject: Match Nightmare

So I winked at this guy on match. Should have known better considering his screen name was "IvyLeaguer123" He responds with the following email:

I live in a 31 story high rise condominium, right in the middle of the Buckhead nightlife district. Do you ever come to this area of town to shop/go out/visit/explore?

I went to an Ivy League school - the University of Pennsylvania - for my undergraduate degree in economics and my graduate degree in management (Wharton School of Business). Where did you go to school?

What activities do you currently participate in to stay in shape? I work out 4 times a week at LA Fitness. Do you exercise regularly? I am 6 feet tall, 185 pounds - what about yourself? I am truly sorry if that sounds rude, impolite or even downright crass, but I have been deceived before by inaccurate representations so I prefer someone be upfront and honest on initial contact...

I do mergers & acquisitions (corporate finance) for xxxxxx(xxxxx, xxxxx, etc). Enjoy any of our stores/divisions?

Do you have any other recent pictures you care to share? I have many others if you care to see them.

Regards,

John
---------------------------------

So, I in turn send him a polite "No Thanks" thru the match system which send him the following email:

Thanks for writing to me, but unfortunately, we're just not a good match. Good luck in your search!

Our Portraits didn't match on:

Â. Personality

------------------------------

To which he replies the following:


I think you forgot how this works. You hit on me, and therefore have to impress ME and pass MY criteria and standards - not vice versa. 6 pictures of just your head and your inability to answer a simple question lets me know one thing. You are not in shape. I am a trainer on the side, in fact, I am heading to the gym in 26 minutes!

So next time you meet a guy of my caliber, instead of trying to turn it around, just get to the gym! I will even give you one free training session, so you don't blow it with the next 8.9 on Hot or Not, Ivy League grad, Mensa member, can bench/squat/leg press over 1200 lbs., has had lunch with the secretary of defense, has an MBA from the top school in the country, lives in a Buckhead high rise, drives a Beemer convertible, has been in 14 major motion pictures, was in Jezebel's Best dressed, etc. Oh, that is right, there aren't any more of those!

Regards,


John

http://www.johnfitzgeraldpage.com

Greetings from Massachusetts

Yesterday: Thinly sliced roast beef on a roll with cheese and barbeque sauce.

Last night: fried clams, clam chowder and last but not least, steamers with butter and broth.

Today: Lobster roll?

Tomorrow: Undecided

Saturday: Cuban Sandwich from Luis Tiante's joint at Fenway, El Tiante

That's right, kids, I'm going to Game 2, Red Sox v. Indians and will return a 400 lb woman. See you then.

First Jarts are Recalled and Now This?

Can't a kid have any fun anymore?

Doodle's Impression of Meerkat Manor

Meerkat
Doodle as Meerkat underneath a giant pair of overalls
Vermont, 2007

Let's Play a Game: Turtleneck or Mock Turtleneck?

1. Turtleneck ..........or



2. Mock turtleneck

Weird Wedding Photos Part MCMVCMVVXLV

Fine, I Will Promote a Book I'm Not In, For Once

PostSecret, is a fantastic collection of "posted secrets" which are mailed in to its creator anonymously on a postcard by the original authors. It originated as a blog --http://www.postsecret.blogspot.com/--and is now finally a book! I'm a huge fan of the project, and you will be too. Some secrets are happy, some are funny, some are sad, some are obnoxious, some are mean, some are annoying, some are gross--it's just like life. Check it.

New York PostSecret Book Promotional Events:

Brooklyn, NY
Barnes & Noble in Park Slope
October 10 at 7:30 p.m.
(A rare galley edition of the new book will be given away at this event.)

New York, NY
Barnes & Noble in Chelsea
October 11 at 7:00 p.m.

Doodle ~ October 7, 2007

Wow, That's Drunk

I know what you're thinking, "Don't tell me you've got another calamari in the bathroom sink story for us, do you Anne?"



Well, no. But it does involve a bathroom. My trusty bathroom dweller, Greenberg, spied on Saturday night a Ms. Drew Barrymore and a certain Justin Long (the annoying hipster Mac vs PC guy) who weren't eating calamari in the men's bathroom at the Bowery Hotel, but they were definitely sniffing something fishy off of the top of the paper towel dispenser. Drew ran out with apologies.



Two Can Anne: Your #1 Source for Unbecoming Behavior in the Bathroom.

Weird Wedding Photos Part MMMSKANKYXXX

Does anyone smell something? I smell something. PU!

The smell-0-meter is totally off the charts with this weird wedding photo, people. Oh, Pamela. Pammy! What the hell is wrong with you? You have big boobies, men think you're gorgeous, you're rich, you have wicked big boobies, you're one marriage away from being Christie Brinkley and you have seriously big boobs. Minus the Uptown Girl provenance of course, and plus the Wrong Side-of-the-Tracks smelly-elly-elly-ness and the wicked big boobs. Why are you marrying at all? Why not let a special dude or two squeeze and suck on your boobies without all the hassle of paperwork and tabloid mania? Heck, at least when Christie decided to marry men who wanted to play with her boobies at least they looked liked they showered once in awhile. Okay, ok: Billy Joel's had his share of benders, but he appeared as if he may had taken a soapy sponge to his person! Once! In awhile!

First you're Mrs. Tommy Lee, Mrs. Kid Rock, and now this skank? Rick Saloman? Frankly? Pammy? It's gross. And I'm a little uncomfortable with the fact that thanks to you and Tommy Lee, I know what your boobies and your bing bang and your hoo hah look like. And you happen to have married someone whom, thanks to Paris Hilton, I now know what his boobies, bing bang and hoo ha look like. So, that means basically is that I'm not only thinking about the fact that you two are boning, all the time, I know exactly what those parts look like in action, and well, I...I...I...can't be thinking about this kind of shit whenever I see you in the tabloids! That's just mean and smelly. To me! And everyone else whom doesn't want to be

• in that room
• on that boat
• on that airplane
• in that parking lot
• in that tanning booth
• in that jacuzzi
• in that bounce castle
• _____________
• _____________
• _____________

with you when you're doing it! NOW PUT THAT SHIT AWAY PLEASE!

Jealous Guy

Warning: Safe for work, but grab your tissues for this one. Featuring Doodle and her ex-boyfriend Bernie. Oh, and a couple dozen carpenter ants.
Edited and uploaded to youtube by Clark ov Saturn of zipzapzop.com. Thanks, Clark!

Watch Doodle Do a Dew Dew

Warning: Graphic but safe for work (provided your boss doesn't mind you viewing a vid of a cat taking a poo). Edited by John Sullivan and uploaded to youtube by Clark ov Saturn of zipzapzop.com. Thank you, Clark!



Though I can't store the toilet paper on the roll anymore, Doodle and I not had a litter box in 7 years (and counting...fingers crossed)--THANK GOD! I was so tired of trying to fit my fat ass in that thing, you have no idea.

Weird Wedding Photos Part MCVLLVMMVLCC

Remember the Meowers and the Woofers

Click here to feed a homeless animal for free!

You're The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me

I dedicate this to my new Bissell Turbo Powersteamer. And if you think spending a beautiful Saturday afternoon inside with this thing is a bad idea, well, then I guess you must have me confused with someone who has a life.

Red Sox Beat the Angels 6-3

With an amazing 9th inning 3-run walk off homie by Manny Ramirez! Let's celebrate!




In other news, the Yankees lost to the Indians again. Wahhhh....wahhhhh...womp.

Moscow Cats Theater

Photo by Huro Kitty

Moscow Cats Theater Now Playing at the Tribeca Performing Arts Center!

"35 cats! 1 dog! and 5 clowns! Death defying Balancing Acts! Dancing! Acrobatics! The only entertainment of its kind in the world-features non-stop action by a group of talented felines performing original and astounding acrobatic feats, integrated into a non-verbal, colorful and fun-filled family show. Making its U.S. debut, in NY City, with American audiences 3 years ago, MOSCOW CATS THEATRE has been embraced by the media and fans alike. With appearances on Good Morning America, Good Day New York, Inside Edition, Montel Williams, and Regis and Kelly Show. The Russian cats have been the talk of the country!"

Oh, like I'm not buying tickets for this immediately? Please.

Red Sox Beat the Angels in Game One 4-0

Two nice home runs by Youklis and David Ortiz! Let's Celebrate!

Project Linus: Providing Security Through Blankets

I learned about this great organization at the Orleans County Fair in Vermont this summer where they had a booth. Project Linus makes quilts, blankets and afghans for children in need. If you're not much of a quilter, you can donate fabric and the like to a local chapter or help in other ways. Click here for more information on Project Linus.

Weird Wedding Photos Part MLVICMMVIVV

Wow, That's Drunk

A friend of mine was reminded this morning of a very bad thing he did last night. I'll call him Greenberg. Apparently Greenberg, on the way to the men's room, helped himself to a plate of calamari on which was sitting on the counter under a warming plate and waiting to be picked up by a server and brought to a table. Greenberg brought it to the men's room with him, set the plate in the sink, wolfed it down with his bare hands.

It should be mentioned that this bathroom was not a private, lockable bathroom, so men were walking in and out as he ate, watching the spectacle. A few of his friends who happened to walk in, also joined Greenberg in the feeding frenzy, scooping up clumps of calamari into their mugs.

Upon their exit however, the owner of the restaurant with his arms folded in front of him, was standing outside to greet them and by his side, a large intimidating bouncer. Greenberg decided that to go on the offensive was the best tactic. "I DIDN'T BRING THAT CALAMARI IN HERE! WHY WOULD YOU ACCUSE ME OF THAT? SURE, I ATE IT, BECAUSE IT WAS IN HERE, BUT I DIDN'T DO IT! IT WAS HIM (pointing to his friend, and throwing him under a bus)! I WOULDN'T DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT! DO I LOOK THAT STUPID?"

The owner was slightly taken off guard by Greenberg's tirade, but someone, most likely everyone, pointed out that they saw him take the calamari off of the server station and bring it into the bathroom. The friend, whom Greenberg tried to pin the calamari caper on, eventually coughed up the bucks to pay for it, and their party was escorted out of the place.

The End.


*Not his real name.

PS And I thought licking a subway window and ending up in McDonald's was bad.

So There I Was Tonight

Watching "Valley of the Dolls" and craving a McDonald's Southwest Chicken Salad, and you know what? I couldn't even bring myself to walk a few blocks to get one. I simply couldn't deal with the possibility that my local franchise had stopped putting it on the menu as well. Can you imagine the horror? I'd be standing there like an idiot. "Would you like the Asian Chicken Salad instead?"

NO FUCKIN' WAY, LADY!

No fuckin' way.

And I'd have to walk out of there empty handed and smellin' like McDonald's. Not going to happen.

Sigh.

Shorpy.com

by Russell Lee, Pie Town, NM ~1940

from shorpy.com

Shorpy.com is such an amazing way to spend time on the internet that I'm posting about it again. Shorpy is a collection of incredible vintage high resolution photographs of yore on all sorts of subjects. Click here for my favorite series taken by Russell Lee of Pie Town, New Mexico in 1940. The ones of the Pie Town BBQ Dinner in Kodachrome (one is posted above) are stunning.