Tuesday, April 04, 2006

America's Perky Sweetheart Is A Cheap Bitch


Word has it that today that Ms. Couric is leaving the Today Show for a CBS Evening News anchor spot. Who cares, not important. What is important: She's cheap. Like, seriously f*cking cheap. I know this because my sister told me. And my sister knows this, because the scene of the crime was her former employer.

Who: Katie Couric and Tom Werner
What: In-room Couples Massage, $300-$400
Where: Bacara Resort and Spa, Santa Barbara California
When: 2004
How: Much did she tip? $10
Why: Because she's a cheap, dillusional, thinks-she's-so-great, bitch!

Dear Katie,

In this country, it is customary to tip 15% for good service, and 20% for exemplary service.
Example: If the massage cost $300, and you were happy with the way someone (at your request) had to rub their hands all over your slimy bodies, then a 20% tip is $60. If the massage cost $400, and you were happy with the way someone (at your request) rubbed their hands all over your slimy bodies, then a 20% tip is $80. Ten dollars does not factor in here at all. Ten dollars is like a 2.5% tip. I bet when you worked at Pizza Hut in the 70's (where you were fired for not doing sidework like filling up the ketchup bottles), you knew a good tip from an insulting one. You're a bitch.

Not a fan,
Anne

ps We look forward to watching your thin turtle lips expand with silicone in the near future. Twat.

7 comments:

newbluebaby said...

Man, I'd love to massage that Al Roker.

Liz said...

i've heard bad things about this woman from a few other people who have had first hand encounters with her. tsk tsk tsk.

good thing there is a picture as bad as that one on the internet.

whipcreamy said...

good memory anne!

yes...she is a cheap bitch...and she is fake. she made me change her massage ten million times so that she would get the best massage therapist in the joint....screw her.

anne altman said...

Just to clarify: that ten was split between two massage therapists, $5 each.

anne altman said...

P.S. Katie--you look like 14 pounds of sausage in a 10 lb bag. put some friggin' clothes on, you're not 23 anymore.

Sharon S said...

What a Bee-atch.
My question is this: how long does it take her to put on the mascara every day? Does she think that her eyelashes look good like that????

anne altman said...

clumpy, you mean? like her boobs?