Thursday, April 06, 2006

Let's Talk Apples


The Red Delicious apple being called the Red Delicious apple is a serious misnomer. Whoever named this particular apple took Marketing 101 and was really really really trying to sell it with the tried and true technique of lying. I should be called the Red Disgusting apple. Their slogan "Best Known Apple in the World" says it all, I mean, if it was truly delicious, it would read "Best Tasting Apple in the World." But it can't say that, because that is a lie. Produce Profile: Red Disgustings are often tasteless, mealy and soft, with a waxy, bitter skin. Primarily used in dishes where taste is not an issue. Perfect for making your own bong. Ditto for their blonde sisters, Golden Disgusting apples.

2 comments:

whipcreamy said...

i have to agree with you on this one. it's the type of apple they give to kids in school who buy lunch...the waxy skin...does it grow with wax or is it a protective layering placed on by the company? whatever the answer may be the red delicious...or red disgusting, is nasty.

FlimFlamShimSham said...

Whipcreamy is right. This should be re-named the Cafeteria Apple. There's always a wire or wicker basket on the counter with three or four of these things sharing room with Blotch Brown Bananas.