Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Home Whatever Home

Doodle gazing at the discarded Xmas tree, snowflakes falling, and stray bird of prey
12/26/06
Vermont




Merry Christmas, bitches! Have a good time? Great! Yeah, we're home. Doodle's been in the bag for close to twelve hours, and I came home to a pound of bills and strange Christmas cards from people I haven't heard from in years: yes, it's a typical annoying holiday travel day.

Forms of transportation used today: a car, a plane, a shuttle van, a shuttle bus, my own two clompers for a dozen blocks "Last Day in Vermont" always bites, no matter what. It's so friggin' great up there, we never want to go home no matter the season. Just look at Doodle in this picture: totally, totally bummed. Add this general bummer to the Day After Christmas and you have yourself a serious kerfuffle.

Whether you're sad about saying goodbye to family or totally stoked about that idea (and you have been basically since you arrived) the coming home part of travelling is always lame. You're rushed, you're delayed, there's traffic, people suck--all kinds of shit will contribute to your feeling desperately in need of a vacation immediately after your "vacation."

I need a vacation from Christmas vacation, but it was a great Christmas.


Ten Good Time Charlie Moments From an Altman Vermont Christmas 2006:

  1. Doodle is awesome, respected her curfew (most likely due to chilly weather and lack of plentiful prey), came home at appropriate hours and used the toilet like a champ
  2. A wild animal found her Christmas deer antlers in her carrying case, which stored in the garage, and destroyed them. Did everything but ingest them. Doodle is not bummed about this. We were, because she looked so cute in them. We hung them on the tree and Doodle sniffed them for days. We're thinking skunk.
  3. It snowed (and stuck) the day after Christmas. It fell in huge fluffy flakes after midnight on Christmas Day. Whip and I, like Sally, prefer January snowflakes but we'll take what we can get.
  4. I was not constipated (unlike Thanksgiving)
  5. I did not recieve the Time Life Soft Rock CD Collection, but I did get the Electric Company DVD Box Set from Whip and it is amazing. And to think I didn't even ask for it. Lesson? No. I will still ask for shit. Where is my Time Life Soft Rock CD Collection?
  6. Food, folks, "fun" (booze)
  7. The Altman 4 sat down for a good old fashioned family quality time board game (although "fun" was involved)
  8. The You Bet Your Life with Grouch Marx DVD Box Set--a rare something the Altman family can enjoy together. Highly recommended
  9. We 3 broads embarked on a First Ever and Possibly Annual Christmas Day walk around the lake (7+ miles) and gave my father the instructions to pick us up if we weren't home in 2 hours. We were making good time but fucked around here and there taking pictures and finding echoes near the lake to shout stupid stuff and, well, needless to say, Mom, sis and I weren't home in two hours. Dad eventually drove by us wearing the Red Baron flying/driving a model T with no windshield/motorcycle side car type of leather cap (with the built in goggles) cap he opened that morning from my crazy uncle. He had a really goofy look on his face, drove by us really slowly with his tongue out like a retard and went half a mile before he turned around. It was hilarious, even if he admitted he didn't wear it the whole way
  10. Willie Nelson and Carlos Santana's "They All Went to Mexico"
  11. No church was involved in this Christmas Celebration, though Christ was involved to a degree (even if it was in a heated moment, his name shouted from the top of a ladder in a tree trimming situation)
  12. Last, but not least: The 2007 Doodle Calendar WAS a great gift! It brought smiles to several faces. It's impossible not to grin when you look at this thing. Order yours today here!

Two hurdles down, one to go: Happy Pre Happy New Year, folks! 2007 means: just 3 more years of the googly oogly glitter oversized sunglasses, so make sure to buy yourself a pair! 2010 isn't gonna work as well visibility wise. Unless your eyes are wide spread apart, and I've seen this, so perhaps 2010 is your year!

6 comments:

Mel said...

Glad you are home safe, Travel sucks no matter where/when.

Doodle is so not the rebel I thought she was respecting her curfew like that.

anne altman said...

She's no angel; in the summer we don't see her for days.

whipcreamy said...

great top 11 list, anne. can't stop thinking about groucho. also can't stop thinking about dad in the leather cap.

Creepy said...

Not only does your cat use the toilet, but she uses other people's toilets? If I use a different litter box my cats crap all over the house.

Just Dave said...

Glad Christmas went well. Thanks to the great blizzard of '06, the one family member that was coming in decided to cancel. Now the great blizzard of '06, part deux is on the way just in time for New Years Eve. If I catch one more of those ski resort bastards praying for more snow, I will introduce his favorite daughter to a snowboarder.

newbluebaby said...

Welcome black. Happy Kwanza.