But... But... But...

Do you ever run into those people who have such an intimidating demeanor that they make you feel like you're lying when you're not? Let me explain.

About six months ago I read in Harper's Bazaar (I was in the nail salon. Bite me) about this dating service that matches "discriminating males" with amazing broads or something like that. Essentially, the guys who feel they don't have time for the dating scene because they're too busy running their Fortune 800 companies or whatever will pay serious cash to this service which for the purposes of this story I'll call Prude Dude, just in case I get fired from yet another opportunity because of this blog. The ladies don't pay (that's how I like it) they just have to fill out the questionnaire and wait. If Prude Dude is interested, they'll contact you. I filled out the online questionnaire and forgot about it, figuring they weren't interested.

A few days ago, a Prude Dude rep called me to tell me they were interested in meeting me. Could I meet for coffee with the company president the next day? Coincidentally, I could. So, I left a message on her voicemail. No return call. Then it was that next day, the day supposedly for coffee. I hadn't heard back. So, I left another message on the cellphone the representative left, I'll call her Stacy. No return call.

Whatever, bitches and rich gross guys!

Yesterday the phone rang. "Anne? Hi! It's Sandra, the president of Prude Dude! How are you?"

"Fine, thank you, how are you?"
"Great. Listen, I was in town the other day and wanted to meet you."
"Yes, I understand that."
"Why didn't you call us back?"
"I did."
"You did?"
"Yes."
"When?"
"Um ( I truly forget when I called back, so it's sounding like a lie.) Monday?"
"But I was in town on Tuesday. Could you have met me on Tuesday?"
"Yes, well, I called and left a message with Stacy."
"When? I really would have liked to have met you but you didn't call us back."
"But I did (Stutter, feeling like i'm lying but i'm not). Twice. With Stacy. (Here's where I should have said, Your problem getting messages lies with Stacy but I didn't because I'm an a-hole.)
"Ok, well we have a few special men we have in mind, to meet you, someone who is also very special." (Now i'm trying to think what exactly I did put in that questionnaire)
"Oh, thanks."
"Now, would you mind increasing the age range in the age requirement? You put down no one over 40."
"(sigh) That's fine. (frustrated with my own double standard and grossed out by the prospect of grey chest hair poking out of the top of a shirt)"
"Ok, well then when would you like to meet for coffee with me? Or should we just call you again when we're in town to meet you."
"Just call me."
"Ok, great. Bye, Anne!"
"Bye."
(sigh)