A Walk to the Dentist and Home Depot: In Pictures

Doodle wasn't much help in psyching me up for the cleaning at the dentist. I can understand why. We get her toothbrush and liver-flavored toothpaste out once every couple months, she hates it, I hate that she hates it, she doesn't talk to me for about an hour, I give her a treat, and we forget the whole thing ever happened. Anyway, it sucked, like I thought it would. And my hygenist is annoying. She may be as bad as the scraping.




Lady, there's no need to sport those metallic wedge pumps or that teal leather bag. I don't care if they're Chanel, nothing could distract anyone from that Mt. Kilamanjaro back pack. You might as well be wearing two different shoes, one with a hole in it and the other dragging a shitty piece of toilet paper. A nice pair of sneaks is what a practical, fast-walking-to- th- subway type of gal like yourself needs. Don't bother with fashion. It's not your bag.
















Phew, ok, that's better. A nice pretty top of a building.









Ahh, I love old office buildings pre-1960. They're all very solid and Clark Kent-y. Look at this door knob. Now this is a door knob. Not that plastic gold thing that spins and spins on a piece of foam core door that makes you feel like if you turn it to tight you might snap it off. That's not a real knob. Lance Armstrong is a real knob, but that isn't. This is. Brass or glass, baby.




















And look at these wooden doors, these terrazzo floors. Solid. The ingredients for echoing hallways and a door that makes you want to slam it for the sheer noise of it all. Makes you miss the days of slave labor when you could get great work for nothin'. Slam a door these days and it doesn't make a whiff. Imagine being a surly teen growing up in a trailer and trying to slam your plastic snap accordion door. "I hate you! zzzzzip/snap!" Not the same dramatic effect, I'm sure. How you gonna get grounded for that?















I figured this Home Depot plant I bought last month deserved something better than the ghetto green plastic container it came in, even though Doodle bit the shit out of it. I'm not even sure it's still alive, to be honest with you. How can you tell when a plant is dead? Anyway, I chose the one on the right. 6 bucks. Self-checkout. Check it.