Sunday, September 24, 2006

Poor Grammar Reigns During Football Season


Sure, I admit it: I'm a hyper-sensitive grammar Nazi. And during football season, it appears as if I'm the only one. I can either scream at the t.v., or blog about it. I've chosen to do both.

What, since advertisers are marketing to football lovers, they're assuming all football lovers do is eat, drink beer, watch football, and not read? And let's say that's the case, does nobody on the advertising/marketing team in the ad firm (or the client itself) read? Or at least farm out some proof reading?

First offender: KFC. KFC keeps touting it's $1 meal and how it takes your dollar "further." Ok, that's impossible. Further means: deeper, more extensively. It's not a unit of measurement or distance. KFC may take your dollar farther, but you may want to explore your options further and buy your deep fried chicken parts from a more intelligent vendor.

Second offender: NFLshop.com. Or something like that. This commercial stars the Manning Clan of Men and is so highly annoying that I can't seem to figure out what the company is. Papa Manning, Peyton, and Eli are running around the house; apparently Mom isn't home. They're making a big mess. They decide to make breakfast, and throw some eggs on the floor. Then they leave the kitchen. Here's where I go through the roof: we go to black screen and text which reads: The Manning's Are Ready For Football.

The possessive Manning-apostrophe-s'es?

Are you fucking apopstrophe-s kidding me? How about the Mannings-Plurally-Are Ready for Football but more importantly the Mannings Are Ready for a Punch in the Face? Sure, the Mannings didn't write the ad and are most likely not responsible for the Manning's are Ready for Football flub, but they're the closest thing to my fist at this point.

Plus, their big head's can take it.

Ahhh, I'm pissing in the wind here, I realize, but whatevs. Someone's gotta do it.

7 comments:

Just Dave said...

It's the fault of those so-called "color" men on football announcing teams. " What da Jets has to do to win dis game is to avoid excessive fumbleization and de defense has to do more interceptializing". I quote the great sage and scholar, Deion Sanders.

Fluffy said...

I just went to the Royal Melbourne Show. It was like "apostrophe-s" land. If there is such a place. And I hope there isn't.

Ride's! Showbag's! Hot dog's!

Here it's often called "greengrocer's apostrophe".

anne altman said...

fluffy, gimme some damn food bombs, already. enough of me trying to feed myself.

tori said...

I too am a grammar Nazi. And nothing gets my goat (in fact, all my farm animals) more than apostrophe abuse. So I'm hoping that your wayward ' in its (possessive) in the KFC bit is used sarcastically a la the ' in "their big heads" in the Manning bit.

CDs, DVDs, videos, 501s... it's not that hard!

Keep up the good work.

Tori

Dale said...

Yay for Anne and Tori and Fluffy and Just Dave and everyone else in the magic mirror! Here's a "blog" you might enjoy perusing.

anne altman said...

i love it! though i'm such an a-hole, admittedly the site was discredited a little when i saw the word hilarious spelled "hillarious," but i'm trying to get over that because if i don't, i'll never have any friends.

Elizabeth said...

i love when stereotypes i form of people/sports/professions are supported by actual evidence. as in the case that football freaks don't know grammar. or books. or a peaceful day at the park.