I was Kentucky Fired Chicken on Friday.
Simply put: It was lame.
It wasn't lame that I was let go, because temps are let go all the time, and that I understand. It was lame how I was let go. You'd think that a year of professional service would merit a professional shitcanning, but no. People have to be crappy, and that's what I don't understand.
Obviously this means that Doodle has to get a job. I got her suit out of the closet this morning, and thanks to a dear who gave me his old laptop, we're currently working on her resume. It needs a little tweaking; she hasn't worked since 9/11. I'm trying to spin "sitting in the sink" and "sleeping on the window sill" and other action phrases into the office environment to make them more compelling. So far I have "sitting on the copier" and "sleeping under the desk". Suggestions are appreciated; the rent is 3 days overdue.
12 comments:
Staring Contest Champion.
hello: using the toilet and wiping her paws on the toilet paper. who wouldn't hire a girl so proper and clean?
but seriously: when doodle sits in the sink, she's not just lazily resting her bones, she's observing life, the bathroom, etc. i.e. overseer, i.e. supervisor, 7 years running. very marketable.
Bummer.
She's proficient at PowerPoint.
Liz has it: restroom attendant! Doods obviously has no problem spending time in the head and with that staring ability nothing will get past her. And she can also take care of any pesky rodents in the shitter.
I agree w Peppers--highlight doodles mouse catching and toliet abilities. That doodle, she's a handy one, she'll be out working in no time at all.
I've always said KFC sucked.
As for Doodle, don't forget to mention her resourcefulness (she found that cool sink all by herself), and that she's well-travelled. Have her wear something low-cut, too... just in case.
I was a supervisor once, and I learned that you always fire people on Fridays, 'cause they can go blow off steam on the weekend instead of heading back in the next day and shooting everybody in the office.
I ended up quitting. Being a supervisor creeped me out. You end up turning into Michael from The Office.
Here's hoping the next gig will be way better.
Mine is.
How about Air Traffic Controller for Doodles? She is excellent at staring for hours on end, observing...the only problem would be communicating the locations of the planes... meow, meow, meow... "Vector 935"
Anyway, sorry to hear about the job, but that just means you're supposed to do something infinitely cooler, and this was the moment for it.
Rock on Anne!
i don't see suicide under the DOT Air traffic controller job description, i guess that's good news, right?
Cat toy beta tester?
WHAT. Altman!!! We must talk, I had no idea!!! Dammit.
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