Snobby Waiter, There's a Hair in My Egg Drop Soup

bumpkyn's lock of love, 9/21/06

Shave and a haircut...two bits! Yes, the braid was scheduled to be chopped on Wednesday night at the exclusive Bumble and Bumble Salon in NYC by one of their stylists-in-training, but alas, Bumpkyn was an alternate, and didn't make the cut, so to speak. "Did you tell them it's for Locks of Love for cryin' out loud?!?!" I cried out loud. At any rate, all of her hand-wringing was for not, though she did walk away with a free Bumble and Bumble product for her trouble--albeit not the full-sized version which was double the price of the products most people choose. She wasn't even going to take her free product out of disgust having been turned away, but I made sure she did, and of course, our taste being that it is, we chose the most expensive one. Then they insisted we could have a product of our choice, at their discretion. As the Human Resource Director at my old place of employment would say, "We got gypped."

This turned out to be a blessing in disguise for two reasons, however. One, we had some time to kill before my show and my still-long-haired friend and I decided to waltz into Spice Market, Jean-Georges's all too fabulous restaurant on the same block as the salon. I was in the mood to celebrate getting the axe and Bumpkyn's hair not getting the axe with a few over-priced, fancy house drinks (in this case a Ginger Margarita and a Pineapple Mojito) and a few deep fried items (spring rolls, samosas--both which were burped up silently throughout the evening to the delight of our companions) from the reputable menu. Did we have a reservation? No. Unheard of to just walk into a place like this, reservations having to be made months in advance.

But as luck would have it, the host gave us a great table in the front provided we leave by 7:15, and he complimented me on my necktie, "Wow, is that Paul Stuart?" I replied, "No, but I do have a Paul Stuart belt I'm putting on eBay--do you have a size 26 waist?" He was close. We had a great time being fabulous and being seen in and around other fabulous people who could actually afford the place, people who had no idea that we couldn't. Ah, to live like the rich for 45 minutes. It's worth eating oatmeal for a few weeks.

The second reason things were a blessing is that when Bumpkyn found another stylist to cut her braid for Locks of Love and give her a great haircut in it's stead, she was told that Bumble and Bumble's graduated bob (which was what was the topic of study that afternoon) was not the right cut for her. Long story short: She looks fabulous, and it was all for a good cause!