Helpful Hints to Make You Look Smarter (Even if Y'aint)

Let's say your name is Sullivan. You have a husband and a few kids. You want to send out a Christmas card. Collectively. As a family.


Wrong:

The Sullivan's

55 American Dream Way

Everything's Awesome, USA 55555

Right:

The Sullivans

55 American Dream Way

Everything's Awesome, USA 55555

Well, what if you want to put a sign on your front door, telling the world that you, the Sullivans, collectively, live there?

House sign should read: The Sullivans.

What about a personalized mailbox for the Sullivans?

Mailbox should read: The Sullivans.

Some of you may be saying, "But, but, but, what about my apostrophe???" To you, I say, you can shove that apostrophe up your ass. Err on the side of never using it again. You don't need it unless you're stating ownership, like the Sullivan's garage. The Sullivan's backyard. The Sullivan's front door ornamental wreath with dried flowers and country blue ducks glue gunned on it.

But you will rarely need this form of punctuation, the apostrophe. It's not even used in the sentence "The Sullivans are stupid" which is exactly what you're saying when you say Sullivan's. When in doubt, take it out. Especially if you're a teacher. It just looks bad. And everyone knows that looks matter more than anything else in this world, even love.