Monday, July 31, 2006

Why Am I So Psyched?

Well, partly (if not entirely) because Mel Gibson is an a-hole and there's proof. Sure, in time he'll make a comeback; a-holes like this never seem to go away like they should. But for now, I'm enjoying his pain.

I don't feel sorry for you because you're an alcoholic Mel, I feel sorry for your wife and kids. You're not sorry that you did it, you're an entitled asshole who's sorry he got caught--and caught in the worst way you can imagine for an anti-semitic, hypocritical, mysogonistic, filthy rich ,egomaniac type of a-hole--in the pocketbook --and you won't be able to buy another island for awhile.

No doubt all that money and fame will twist a person, but one of your only responsibilities when you hit it big is to keep your perspective and follow the rules to the best of your ability. I mean, you're not doing your own laundry or picking up your own drycleaning anymore at that point, it doesn't seem like a lot to ask.

All I know is that if I can't drive up and down the Pacific Coast Highway in my Lexus, drinking tequila and screaming about the Jews all night and not get arrested, than you can't either, Mel. It seems to me you're an a-hole deep down, though--that "I own Malibu" line? Of course, then again, Lizzie Grubman called a Hamptons bouncer a piece of white trash, and 9/11 saved her ass by getting her face off of the front pages every day. These days she's back to the Hamptons skankin' it up like it never happened.

Anyway, Mel, I hope this scandal sucks bank and reputation away and that your wife leaves you, ties her tubes, and spends the rest of her days enjoying sex with a nice Jew.

The end.

8 comments:

Teri said...

very poetic and well said.

Jen said...

amen.

Peter said...

I just hope he continues to drink and grow his beard out until he's unrecognizable. So, by next year, when he stumbles into the oscars with a half shirt and a hobo tan, he gets tasered to death.

anne altman said...

i haven't seen a tasering in awhile. they're good.

Creepy said...

"and spends the rest of her days enjoying sex with a nice Jew."

You're priceless.

Alcuin Bramerton said...

Delving deeply into the subtext here, and assessing the coded cues and signifiers, do I detect an element of disapproval with regard to Mr Gibson's bona fides?

newbluebaby said...

I'm just mad he took MY line, "What are you looking at sugar tits?"

Now, whenever I say that to a waitress, they're gonna think I'm doing a Mel impression when in reality all I want is some dry toast and to know what they are looking at.

Sugar tits.

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