Everyone knows that toast is the preferred (read: only) dinner for the economically challenged. I was about to make myself such a culinary masterpiece when alas--the toaster oven made faint little blue spark when I clicked on the Start Toast button.
Little blue spark meaning: dead as a doornail.
Talk about being kicked when I'm down. I don't have a full-time job, and now I've got to subsist on raw bread? Sure, the oven part of the toaster oven works, but doesn't that just heat things? I already have an oven of the full-sized variety. Doesn't this give me license to throw away the toaster because only half of it delivers? Doesn't this mean that this will be part of the Nine Things a Day To Throw Away Project and I'll get closer to Feng Shui Heaven because I don't believe in the real heaven? Sure, a new toaster oven might not run me but about twenty bucks +, but isn't this an expense I didn't forsee happening to me at this tender time?
Alright, alright, focus more on the positive aspects of having no toaster, Anne, focus on that crap.
Having no toaster to toast bread will render me less likely to eat bread nor anything much at all considering these tight times. Water is free, and it does give that full just-eaten feeling. Will I lose weight on the Poverty Diet? Yes. Is it cheaper than the Zone Diet? Yes.
Yay! Poverty never looked so good. Even though all I wanted was a piece of damn toast. At least I don't have to clean this thing. Garbage ho!
6 comments:
I'm on the poverty diet as well. I look like Nicole Richie now.
keep it up, valerie! soon you'll surpass that fat ass nicole.
I could donate my old toaster oven if you'd like. It's only "slightly" used (it took up too much counter space). In the meantime, turn that sucker up to broil and whala! (flipping required)
Rock on!
whala! hahahahaha
i'll let you know if that toaster might be something i need, fargrave. now i have an empty counter top i quite like all the space myself.
Was it a toaster in the biblical sense, or a toaster "oven". Because when I had my normal toaster die once, I splurged on a toaster oven until it became so nasty from the heated stuff rising up that it was worthless and I tossed it.
I now own a regular shiny metal two slice toaster.
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