Friday, September 22, 2006

Meet America's Future War Mongers, Rapists and Murderers


Some of you may watch this flick and see healthy pre-pubescent and pubescent adolescent boys being boys at summer camp. Me, being me, I naturally see Lord of the Flies. I once worked at a camp in Long Island the summer before my freshman and sophomore years at college. I was hired as a basketball coach but ended up with the savage responsibility of having to referee 13 year old boys' scrimmages whilst my un-fire-able co-coach (former camper and camp legacy) got stoned in his cabin.

A swarm of 13 year old boys is nothing but a veritable hell on earth, and I am indeed scarred for life. It's no wonder they're perfect candidates for Hamas and al Qaeda; that testosterone is a nasty nasty nasty thing. If they weren't running about like a hoard of monkeys, they were staring at my tits. When they weren't staring at my tits, they were pretending that they weren't staring at my tits. Man, it was bad enough dealing with them first time around when I was in Junior High--at least at 19/20 I felt more comfortable saying things like calm the fuck down before I fucking kill you!

You say spare the rod and spoil the child, I say hog tie the child and get a couple two, ten beers off campus. Maybe at a bar in a local strip mall. Then get fired from the camp for leaving your brood alone. Whatevs.

3 comments:

Creepy said...

When I was in summer camp the counselors had a blast: each night after us kids went to bed they got drunk, stoned and laid around campfires in the woods. What the hell were you guys thinking?

And we stared at the female counselors boobs the whole time too.

anne altman said...

i think it's safe to say that working at an all boys school or producing a litter of boy triplets would kill me.

newbluebaby said...

The idol on that patch is none other than Tiki, the bad omen that almost sent Greg, Peter and Alice to their demise in Hawaii.