**Sigh**

I'm not a huge phone person, and I know I'm not supposed to gauge my self-worth on how many phone calls I get. This is good, because I don't get any phone calls. I don't receive many callers, because I don't return phone calls. Plus, often times, I yell at the phone when it rings. Profanities and stuff.

Yet...

The phone simply doesn't ring. Which is what I wanted, I believe, but still. It could mean that nobody really thinks to call or thinks of me at all, which is why the superintendent will find me dead and bloated in my apartment half-chewed by the cat who will also be dead and bloated by the time we're found.

So...

It could be that I was sitting with all the popular people on the plane the other night, and as soon as it landed, their phones were blowin' up, left and right:

Ring Ring, "Hello? Oh, HI! We just landed. I said we just landed. Mike and I are on the plane. We're still on the plane. Are you picking us up? Cool. We'll see you at baggage claim. I said we'll see you at baggage claim! Bye. I said BYE!"

Ring Ring, "Hello? Oh, HI! We just landed. I said we just landed..."

Ring Ring, "Hello? Oh, HI! We just landed..."

It was like a round. Or a really annoying echo.

And I didn't have anyone to call because I was taking the bus, so...I suppose I could have called the bus company to be like, "Hey, bus still coming to pick me up? I said, bus still coming to JFK to pick me up?"

But of course, I didn't do that, because that's stupid, and I don't think that just because someone is on their cellphone they are more popular or better than I am. What, you think you're better than me? (insert "I" for "me")

Or are they?

But it was seriously obnoxious. I was literally the only person who was not on the phone at the time of plane landing. You see, Doodlecat doesn't have a cellphone. I told her flat out: "No job, no cellphone. That's how it goes."

Everyone flicks off their seatbelts and stands up immediately to get off the plane, as if they can get anywhere before the thing has even stopped at the gate. I sit. I realize we're not going anywhere. And then the twat a few rows behind me who thinks that because she jumped up in the row standing next to my seat she'll be able to cut me in line is always disappointed to realize that's not how it works. I don't let her pass. I get up out of my seat and slowly get my bag down from the overhead. Maybe sort of hit her with it as I bring it down. She can wait.

Then my cellphone starts buzzing.

I get excited.

I look popular.

I need to check who it is.

Maybe it's my sister.

Maybe it's my ex-boyfriend.

Maybe it's the guy I have a crush on.

?

??

???

????

It's my alarm.

**Sigh**