You Know I'm Hammered When...

1. I start air violining to "Juke Box Hero"
2. I switch it up to the air flute
3. I start spelling people's names out loud
4. I start talking to the D.J.
5. I blow air into the palms of my hands to create huge fart noises
6. I fall down
7. I answer every redhead in the room with "Whatever, Fire bush!"
8. I pull an Irish Goodbye*

*We don't say goodbye. We just bolt.