Tuesday, May 16, 2006

On Occasion, I'm a Hypocritical Bitch

It was a wet, drizzly morning in Manhattan, not really worthy of an umbrella, but to each tool his own. As I walked to work, I was subconsiously checking people out, as I do, and noticed this one broad's pantleg hems were too long, and she was dragging them in the street slime, and I thought to myself, "Tsk tsk, tacky."

I arrived at my building and once the elevator got to my floor, I made a dramatic exit by tripping on my way out. The obstruction revealed itself to be my left pantleg cuff which had come unstitched and dragged through 25 blocks of street slime.

I've since hemmed it with packing tape.

In summary, while I was checking out that dirty broad, someone else was checking me out and thinking "Tsk tsk, dirty broad." But I bet she had something else wrong with her, like price tag stickers on the bottom of her shoes or something.

As the saying goes, "Thou with slimy pantleg shall not make fun of slimy pantlegs."

4 comments:

saraisloco said...

Anne my dear, it's so nice to see another lady who uses packing tape to hem her pants. Well that and a stapler sometimes.

Elizabeth said...

or:

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Pants said...

That was so funny! In defense of the tacky broad (because of course, I am her), maybe she has short legs and that's why her pants drag. And she doesn't own a tape gun.

Dreamlover said...

Staples all the way baby!!

haha