Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Would I Sell Out?

Yes. Abso-fuckin'-lutely, people! I just have not had the opportunity to do so just yet.

However, when I do sell out (and I will), I sincerely promise each and every one of you that I will not turn into a vain, selfish, smug, holier-than-thou, better-than-thou, asshole. I will not forget where I came from. I will not treat people like shit because I can. I will not name my kids stupid shit. I will not turn into a Scientologist. I will own a Hamptons home and do it alone.

"If you own a Hamptons home you can't do it alone - you need help. Hamptons Domestics provides the best butlers, chefs, chauffeurs, and maids to ensure that you don't have to lift a finger." -Hampton Domestics Employment Agency

I will however, require yacht staff. But I'm not going to be a dick about it.

2 comments:

newbluebaby said...

One day I'll have a dinghy, and on nice summer days I will bring my dinghy out for all to see! Up and down the shore I'll go, letting everyone behold my dinghy!

Elizabeth said...

I hate John Travolta.

If your ego ever rivals his, I won't read your blog anymore.