Let's Get Ready To Bust Balls

The following is another obnoxious online profile I received from a 33 year old admirer. Read it. There will be a 10 question quiz in the following post. No cheating.

About me and what I'm looking for:

I AM REALLY 41 YEARS OLD!!! I changed my age for searching and matching purposes. My 92 year old, Irish Catholic grandmother who can drink me under the table says I'm a wonderful catch and grandmoms know their stuff so, I don't think you'll be dissappointed. Hey, thanks for reading my profile. Just to get a couple things out of the way: if you have kids, I can and would be a great step dad but, I ALSO WANT KIDS(plural) OF MY OWN AND NO SMOKERS PLEASE. I will never grow old. I work out 5 times per week but, am def. NOT a gym rat. So, what that means is, if you can think of something better to do, the gym can take a back seat. I have light green, "Devil Eyes" as they have been described and have been complimented on them my whole life. I have always been considered a man's, man but, am also a deep, old world romantic. 10 years from now, you will still receive flowers for no reason, surprise cards and stuffed animals under your pillow when you get home. I would rather spend a night in, relaxing and talking over wine with my hunny, than anything. I'm more picky about personality than looks. Personality is what you fall in love with, although, I know physical attraction is also important and my pics are posted. Personality counts now and 40 years from now. I DESPISE LYING. One lie in the beginning of a relationship can ruin the rest of it. I will never lie to you. I just don't feel like making up 20 more lies to cover the first. I'm one of only a few men, you will ever know, who will never cheat on his girlfriend, fiancee' and then wife. That doesn't mean, I don't love women. What it does mean is, being a man is more about honor and keeping my word than cheap conquest.I LOVE kids and if how well I handle my 9 nieces and nephews while babysitting on numerous occasions is any indication, I'm gonna' be a great Dad SOOO, YES, I DEFINITELY WANT KIDS OF MY OWN. (God Willing of course)So, if you have children, as long as you're willing to have more. . . . WHICH MEANS. .if you put in your profile that you are "not sure" if you want kids. . . .you are wasting your time because it's a non-negotiable! I don't date just to date. I'm looking for LONG TERM and permanent! Of course, nothing to hurried or rash. . . Meeting someone who exercises and takes care of herself is important to me. I work our 5 times per week and it's a part of my life. I don't think I could see myself being attracted to someone that doesn't workout. PLEASE, DO NOT take that to mean I'm looking for a swimsuit model. I'm just interested in a woman that does more at the gym than walking on a treadmill or training with 2lb dumbbells. Again, although I am not looking for a "Kate Moss" type, I am only interested in a girl who is IN SHAPE. I would like to meet a woman who is looking for the same thing I described above. Straightforwardness!! No lies!! Also, a woman who WANTS to be sexy. Desires to be desired. And great looks do not guaruntee sexiness. ATTITUDE, ATTITUDE, ATTITUDE!!! Please do not take that to mean I am looking for sex right away. Intimacy is only ONE PART of a great relationship. Someone who loves great dinners out with incredible red wine. Also, a pizza indoors, with great red wine. Conversation over red wine. Geez. . .there seems to be a red wine theme brewing here. Conversation just between the two of us sitting in a darkened pub with an old wood bar. Laughing at/with each other doing stupid things. Happiness, Happiness and more Happiness.