Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Paging Dr. Douchebag, Paging Dr. Douchebag

How many times do I have to tell you that I love online dating before you will believe it?

Ok, so here we go, here's what's going on in Truth Town, no lies:

Latest prospect:

Screen Name: DocSoyBoy

Tagline: "I Love The Notebook"


HE'S A DOCTOR WHO LOVES SOY AND HE'S A BOY ERGO HE'S DOCSOYBOY, GET IT?

Fag.

Supposedly, we're 74% compatible.

"If you love honesty, adventure, travel, family and romance, then I may be the one for you :) - "

Do I love honesty? Yes!

Travel? Yes!

Family? Yes!

Romance? No.

Women? Love romance? Please! That is fuckin' absurd.

Shit, and we were getting along so well. We had so much in common until the romance thing but...


He has inspired me to create a new profile for myself.

My Screen Name: TempHurlGirl --or-- FuckOffDie

Tagline: "The Notebook Made Me Stab My Eyes Out With A Bottle Opener But Now I Don't Ever Have To Watch The Notebook Again"


10 comments:

@alyssa ettinger said...

ugh. online dating. i know we have war stories. better we should all meet for drinks that we have to pay for anyway and at least enjoy the time we spend out in the bars

Peter Matthes said...

I found I was 97% compatible with a trip to the Florida Keys, some nachos and a joint.

Ah ... true love.

Doesn't using egayharmony make you guys lose your self esteem?

Dreamlover said...

I personally love the notebook, please give him my e-mail address-

illbelieveyourlies@sucker.com

Thanks

:0)

anne altman said...

you raise a good point peter thanks, i guess i never thought about it that way until you..brought...it...up.............




*sobbing*

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


**hiccup**


WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaa

aaaaWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAA


***gunshot***


waaa..


****silence****








WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA




*****2nd gunshot*****

******silence******

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! ! !

Elizabeth said...

shoot, anne, i have to call you out on something. maybe soyboy is for you:

you'll recall, last week i emailed you, requesting friday night movie rental suggestions. one of yours: the notebook. yes, you made a remark that it was sappy but you didn't say anything about it causing me to stab my eyes out.

actually, i'd seen the notebook previously and it did make me want to stab my eyes out. for some reason, i couldn't cry. i always cry at such movies.

maybe soyboy likes to cry. all true romantics do.

anne altman said...

i thought it fit the genre you were in the mood for. movies to stab your eyes out to. it was the only way i could muster a cry, with the stabbing.



it was blood, but it felt like tears. hot tears.

Del-V said...

Poor soyboy. Maybe he should be looking for romance in Whole Foods and not online.

Nina Paley said...

New York has enabled me to discover how compatible I am with celibacy. About 100%. If I ever get horny, a few seconds reading online personal ads cures me damn fast.

anne altman said...

you two are referrring to docsoyboy i assume? soyboy and docboy are totally different dudes.

wonderturtle said...

That tagline may be so good that the earth tilted a little.