I propose the following legislation:
- If you're a single person carrying an obnoxious golf umbrella on a city street, you are required to also be lugging a set of clubs and eating a pimento cheese sandwich.
- If you're not carrying a set of clubs or eating a pimento cheese sandwich, then you will be fined no less than $250 and up to $500 for carrying an oversized umbrella. UNLESS you are sheltering 6 or more people, and you must use the H. O. U. Lane designated for high occupancy umbrellas.
- Get the hell out of my way, you witch. If you're that afraid of rain, stay home.
3 comments:
umbrellas don't work anyways...the rain always goes where the umbrella ends...if i had one of thosw golf umbrellas, the rain would be at my pelvis...then it would look like i pissed myself....better to go with the poncho.
Pelvis.
I agree 100%.
I always find myself walking down the street and I get poked by someone with their umbrella. Often, they are talking away on their cell phone about the kind of napkins they should buy. ARGH @#%! I want to spin around grab it from them and smash the oversized umbrella on the street in front of them.
This kills me especially when it is hardly raining. I shy away from using even the small ones unless it is really coming down.
The only thing that yanks my chain more are TOURISTS. If there is a way they can be looking up at the sky or tall buildings, and then get in your way ... they will do it dammit. I think tourists should be made to stay on those double decker red buses.
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