Friday, May 05, 2006

Kim Jong Rumsfeld


People, let me tell you about my new favorite hero. His name is Ray McGovern, former CIA veteran. Yesterday Donald "Rummy" Rumsfeld was giving a horseshit speech in safe-haven Georgia to his following of white-haired white men Stepford Wives about some crap about Iraq. There were a few protesters in the crowd who were quickly tossed, North Korea style, because of course, they were saying stuff that was unpleasant for ol' Rummy. Ol' Rum dum. Like the truth and whatnot.

Then, a patient Ray McGovern stepped up to the plate, and fucked Rummy so hard with his own words that it was funny. Funny ha ha to see him squirm, but sad too, because McGovern is right. Rummy gave him a chance to finish (as you can see in the last line of the dialogue) because he knew McGovern has street cred, having been in the CIA an all. And everytime Rummy said "No, I never said that," McGovern countered with exactly what he said.

Hey, Rummy-- Don't say stuff in newspapers and on t.v. because that stuff is researched in this day and age. Hello? Easily researched. Get your lies straight. You're like one of those dudes with 5 wives who has to keep them all a secret from one another, and you're failing miserably.

Lord, I wish I were bright, composed, informed enough to catch someone in their lies like McGovern did so well. I wonder if he's also a law school graduate. I'd get up there and go, "You're a dick, you sick, rich, white elitist, racist, fucking liar bastard I hate you and hope you die." See? Less effective.

Here's a portion of the transcript:

Rumsfeld: ...it appears that there were not weapons of mass destruction there.
McGovern: You said you knew where they were.
Rumsfeld: I did not. I said I knew where suspect sites were and...
McGovern: You said you knew where they were. Tikrit, Baghdad, northeast, south, west of there. Those are your words.
Rumsfeld: My words-my words were that-no-no, wait a minute--wait a minute. Let him stay one second. Just a second....

Here's the video itself. And here's a good article by another Ray McGovern lover.

Apparently I'm in love with McGoverns, as I'm also smitten with George. Guys named McGovern should govern. Guys named Bush and Rumsfeld should be strung up Mussolini style.

Happy Cinco de Mayo, kids!

3 comments:

Peter Matthes said...

You really have to love those "EAT YOUR OWN WORDS BITCH!" moments.

Until yesterday, this was my favorite clip: http://www.youtube.com/v/Tcib62ibR0k

anne altman said...

thank you, peter! it's now my new favorite clip. the one where the tv reporter stomps on the grapes and then falls off of the platform and knocks the wind out of herself is less depressing, though.

note bush's face during kerry's time to talk. no, no, no, that's not a guilty man's face.

Peter Matthes said...

I love that clip too.

She sounds like she is dying.